PARENTS' CORNER | Helping your Child Cultivate Good Online Habits
by Scott
Knight
As parents
of a nine-year-old daughter, the computer and
Internet are quickly becoming the place to
"hang out." With our high-speed Internet
connection at home, the Internet is readily
available. We are finding that certain homework
from school requires the use of the computer
and the Internet in order to complete
assignments.
Our
daughter also comes home asking about how to
get on certain Websites like Barbie.com, and
Webkinz because her friends were talking about
it and how "awesome and cool" they are.
Most recently, it's YouTube and
checking out the latest songs and videos from
High School Musical, watching the cute
boys and discovering who they like and so
on.
The learning curve for this stuff is
challenging to keep up with. I believe it is
important for kids to be familiar with
technology and how to use it in a positive way.
However, I also feel very strongly about
minimizing the potential for clicking around on
inappropriate Websites. The vulgar
language and suggestive sexual videos are like
a magnet for kids if they do not have structure
or guidelines when using the Internet. The
explicit sex sites are extremely easy to find
and get onto.
Understanding the Rules
Our first rule is to not have the
computer with Internet access in a secluded
room. We monitor our daughter's activity when
she is using the Internet. No passing the
buck here. Kids need to understand what
is appropriate and what is not and why—which
is sometimes the hardest part for a parent to
explain.
What is acceptable to Mom and
Dad is likely to be what trickles down to the
kids. Our daughter has learned that
videos with swear words are
inappropriate. We have discussed her
watching videos on YouTube, and if we catch her
listening to songs with swear words, the
computer is immediately off limits for a period
of time (usually days).
We block
certain addresses; we tell our daughter that
we've blocked them and discuss why she should
not go there. I believe this will help
her to make better decisions when she is not
supervised.
We also set a time limit
for fun or play on the computer, typically 30
minutes per day. Schoolwork is the exception,
and one of us is there watching and helping as
needed.
Positive Reinforcement
There are plenty of places you do not want your child to go on the Internet, so when we find fun, intriguing, safe Websites that are kid-friendly, we encourage those by rewarding our daughter with extra time on those sites.
Our daughter is at the age where she is testing her limits every day in some fashion. So we try to reward appropriate behavior—online and in the real world—with positive responses, including extra time on the computer. This seems to work quite well most of the time, since the new computer is in high demand in our family.
Praise for doing creative things and staying off unacceptable Websites goes a long way.
Offline "Practice"
We feel fortunate that our daughter enjoys creating things on the computer during her fun time. She uses programs like Apple's GarageBand to create your own music with rhythms and melodies. It's amazingly cool, and simple to use. With Keynote, another Apple program, you can create slide shows by adding pictures, text and fun colorful graphics, all on preset formats that are simple to work with.
These are great because they are educational, recreational and non Internet-based.
Our daughter learned about them at school and she can apply what she learns at home. This is really nice because Mom and Dad do not have to spend time learning and then teaching the program. I have no problem letting my daughter spend her time with these and we try hard to reward this kind of activity.
Scott Knight lives in Bloomington, Minnesota with his wife and 9-year-old daughter.